Sexual Assault: Touching another sexually is not okay

Introduction:

Sexual assault is not okay in any form, this means touching another person sexually is not okay. Both genders must respect the other genders privacy and boundaries. Consent needs to be clarified prior to any touching whatsoever. Sexual assault Is way too common in society, so let’s take a look at understanding and prevention of assaults of a sexual nature.

Distress is common in sexual assault
Photo by RODNAE Productions from Pexels

This blog is inclusive of all genders, no sexism or discrimination is implied and generalities are present were acceptable. These generalities include ALL humans.

Starting off this post slowly, so you can back out, and the difficult stuff is hidden from view until you scroll down. Some ideas and topics here may be controversial or triggering. If you need support and or assistance, click here.

Conversations, the lighter stuff:

Touching, can I hug you? Workplace:

Ask for a hug politely is the key to being respectful, as well as taking no for an answer if they say no thanks. However, if you’re in a professional workplace, asking for a hug is a big no.

Unless agreed upon prior that the workplace is the hug zone, you must still ask is it okay for a hug. Again, if you have a mutual prior consent and have arranged through an individual agreement, it is okay.

A hug doesn’t give you the right to touch in inappropriate places, such as the butt, the genitals, breast or any erogenous zones. So, how to hug appropriately? Hand placement is key, middle back of the back and gentle pressure. If not a loved one, no need to do any more.

The man hug is a little more complex as the man is concerned about getting too intimate, and this should go with all genders, including the new ones. Place one arm placed over the shoulder and the other hand on the centre of the back. Make the pelvic area separate by as much distance that is comfortable. Keeping as many sexual parts away from each other.

Keep hugging non-sexual will prevent any miscommunications by either party. Keep your hands in the appropriate places, or just don’t hug in the workplace. If you can’t follow these simple instructions, just don’t hug at all or don’t leave the house.

Quick tips:

  • Guy’s, girls, non-binary, trans and more, treat your fellow homo-sapiens with respect.
  • No means STOP, and stop means NO.
  • Keep an eye on friends when out partying.
  • Never let someone you don’t know buy a drink without you watching their every move.
  • Don’t leave a drink unattended, if you do dispose of it, it’s not worth the risk.
  • Refuse to give your contact details to a stranger
  • Going on a first date? Meet somewhere public, don’t go to their place on an after the date. (3 Dates and talk about where you stand on sex! Make strict boundaries and rules!)
  • Call you countries emergency number to order a pizza with pepperoni with the address if you’re in an unsafe environment.

A little light advice before we get into the heavy stuff, I had heard this advice somewhere but can’t find it now, but here it is. Communication within a romantic relationship is key and when communication is one’s wants and needs of in the relationship! They should be discussing on choosing a safe word instead of no, some individuals say no stop as a keep going term in playful mode. In choosing a different term, something fun and non-derogatory that means a stern and forceful no. With both parties respecting each other’s responses.

The difficult Stuff:

The Science: Research of sexual assault:

What is assault of a sexual nature? The law views as behavioural in most countries, but these are the main types of assault and abuse:

  1. Sexual harassment
  2. Sexualised bullying
  3. Unwanted kissing and sexual touching
  4. Sexual pressure and coercion
  5. Sexual assault, including rape

All genders and ages can be affected:

All genders women, men, non-binary, trans, and more, and unfortunately children are victims too. Sexual assault can present in many forms, from both genders and from adults. In survey in 2008 by the Australian institute of Criminology shows that 0.6 percent of men (42,300) have experienced some for of sexual assault. Young males are more likely to be sexually abused by strangers or by authority figures in schools, churches or athletics programs.

Domestic violence against men
Photo by MART PRODUCTION from Pexels

Who reports one in three women have experiences sexual violence as of March 2021, the biggest issue were facing on this planet was in front of climate change. That’s sound 736 million, sounds a lot because it is

But unlike COVID-19, violence against women cannot be stopped with a vaccine

Dr Tedros Adhanom Ghebreyesus, WHO Director-General

To address violence against women, there’s an urgent need to reduce stigma around this issue, train health professionals to interview survivors with compassion, and dismantle the foundations of gender inequality,”

Dr Claudia Garcia-Moreno of WHO

Women need to be protected not by men but in general, they need to be able to feel safe in the world around. To have the same freedoms as men, to be able to walk alone and succeed. As inequities are the leading factors of risk.

The regions of Oceania, Southern Asia and Sub-Saharan Africa have the highest prevalence rates of intimate partner violence among women aged 15-49, ranging from 33% – 51%. The lowest rates are found in Europe (16–23%), Central Asia (18%), Eastern Asia (20%) and South-Eastern Asia (21%).

https://www.who.int/news/item/09-03-2021-devastatingly-pervasive-1-in-3-women-globally-experience-violence

The emotional damage:

Any kind of assault is damaging to the psyche, we just don’t forget traumatic experiences. The perpetrator is taking away your enjoyment of life’s sexual experiences. Taking away how one feels safe in life in general, it has an effect on one’s nervous system, mental health is affected with anxiety, depression and stress, and causes PTSD. Years of emotional and mental anguish and therapy.

For those that don’t understand this, it’s think before you act, control your urges and listen for no stop head to the bathroom and finish yourself if the need be. Be aware of the response of the individual you are with. Don’t do harm to another person because of your desires.

Sexual assault has also been described as one of the most traumatic experiences a person can be exposed to

https://obgyn.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1111/aogs.13174

Emotional Impacts in detail:

The relationship with the perpetrator plays a part in the level of emotional distress. The severity of the abuse and extent of physical harm, as well as the time the abuse lasted. If they were in an abusive relationship or kept from leaving.

Moreover, the level and severity of psychological harm from the perpetrator of belittling and manipulation. Including after the fact, of the individual’s experience with police, the legal system and health care providers.

The short term impacts include anxiety and intense fear as primary factors on sexual assaults. Including fear of reminders of the place and circumstances on that event took place, as well as future attacks. Memories stick around for a long time from trauma.

Long term impacts include low self-esteem, self-blame, guilt and can endure for months and even years after the event. The overwhelming experience can form as a denial of it happening with feelings of confusion, shock, and bewilderment. In younger victims, suicidal ideation is commonly present.

Women who have experienced sexual violence are the largest group of survivors to be diagnosed with PTSD. These symptoms can be found in further detail in the impacts of sexual assault on women PDF below in sources.

Physical Impacts:

In a rape event, the long term damages done to the genital area or anus if the sexual assault is penetrative. Pain in pelvic area, headaches, gastrointestinal issues including irritable bowel syndrome, reproductive issues and eating disorders.

What is sexual assault:

An act carried out by another party towards the victim of a sexual nature via physical force, intimidation, or coercion against the victim’s will.

Crime Victimisation Survey: Definition of sexual assault is based on the interpretation of the respondent. If requested, the definition provided is “an act of a sexual nature carried out against a person’s will, through the use of physical force, intimidation or coercion, or the attempt to carry out these acts”. Only people aged 18 years and over were asked questions about sexual assault.

Source: https://aifs.gov.au/sites/default/files/publication-documents/rs5.pdf

What it’s not:

Sexual assault is not walking past someone or just existing, walking past someone’s house or being at the same event. It is not asking a woman or man out for coffee or a date a single time. Common reasons for false reporting are, your ex or your sworn enemy, understanding sexual assault is, to gain an advantage in custody for children or incorrect identification of the assailant. The amount of court time and expenses used in hearings from false reports take away from real cases and they need all the support they can get.

Tonic Immobility – Biology:

Tonic Immobility in animals is the reaction when a predatory attack is in progress and resistance is not possible. In humans this is from intense fear described as a catatonic state. A catatonic state is describes a lack of vocalisation, analgesia seen as a relative unresponsive state to external stimuli. Can also include muscle tremors in the form of hyper- or hypo-tonicity.

During the attack itself, it is common to experience reactions such as an intense fear of death and dissociation

https://aifs.gov.au/sites/default/files/publication-documents/rs2.pdf

What to do if:

  • Call for police assistance immediately on your countries emergency number
  • Get to the emergency ward at hospital or GP for immediate care, love, and evidence with a medical exam you’ll need to do to get the assailant from doing it someone else.
  • Contact a trusted family member and or friend for support and safety.
  • Don’t be embarrassed, you’re not the first. Police and medical staff are professionals and are trained in this scenario. Remember that you’re a loved and cherished human being.

Conclusion

We have gone through the levels of seriousness in assault on another human being sexually. From inappropriate touching to the outcomes of penetration, such as full penetration rape. These cause mental health issues such as anxiety, depression, and stress and damage physically produces lifelong pain. Please report and get constant check-ups if you have been sexually assaulted. Straight to the emergency room to get all the assistance you need.

Sources:

Devastatingly pervasive: 1 in 3 women globally experience violence

The nature and extent of sexual assault and abuse in Australia

Tonic immobility during sexual assault –a common reaction predicting post-traumatic stress disorder and severe depression

Sexual assault against men

Sexual Assault: Males

The impacts of sexual assault on women

Fake Sexual Assault Claims in Australia

For Victims Of Sexual Assault, There’s Little Incentive To Come Forward — Besides ‘Justice’

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